|January 22, 2006
Michael Moore Statement on Canadian Election
|Michael Moore is currently in production on his next movie. As an avid lover of all
things Canadian, he has issued the following statement regarding Canada's
upcoming election on Monday:
Oh, Canada -- you're not really going to elect a Conservative majority on Monday,
are you? That's a joke, right? I know you have a great sense of humor, and
certainly a well-developed sense of irony, but this is no longer funny. Maybe it's a
new form of Canadian irony -- reverse irony! OK, now I get it. First, you have the
courage to stand against the war in Iraq -- and then you elect a prime minister
who's for it. You declare gay people have equal rights -- and then you elect a man
who says they don't. You give your native peoples their own autonomy and their
own territory -- and then you vote for a man who wants to cut aid to these poorest
of your citizens. Wow, that is intense! Only Canadians could pull off a hat trick of
humor like that. My hat's off to you.
Far be it from me, as an American, to suggest what you should do. You already have too many Americans telling you what to do.
Well, actually, you've got just one American who keeps telling you to roll over and fetch and sit. I hope you don't feel this appeal of
mine is too intrusive but I just couldn't sit by, as your friend, and say nothing. Yes, I agree, the Liberals have some 'splainin' to do.
And yes, one party in power for more than a decade gets a little... long. But you have a parliamentary system (I'll bet you didn't know
that -- see, that's why you need Americans telling you things!). There are ways at the polls to have your voices heard other than
throwing the baby out with the bath water.
These are no ordinary times, and as you go to the polls on Monday, you do so while a man running the nation to the south of you is
hoping you can lend him a hand by picking Stephen Harper because he's a man who shares his world view. Do you want to help
George Bush by turning Canada into his latest conquest? Is that how you want millions of us down here to see you from now on?
The next notch in the cowboy belt? C'mon, where's your Canadian pride? I mean, if you're going to reduce Canada to a cheap
download of Bush & Co., then at least don't surrender so easily. Can't you wait until he threatens to bomb Regina? Make him work
for it, for Pete's sake.
But seriously, I know you're not going to elect a guy who should really be running for governor of Utah. Whew! I knew it! You almost
had me there. Very funny. Don't do that again. God, I love you, you crazy cold wonderful neighbors to my north. Don't ever change.
(Mr. Moore is not available for interviews because he now needs to address the situation in Azerbaijan. But he could be talked into it
for a couple of tickets to a Leaf's game.)